funny police retirement quotes

45. Retirement Party. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. There was no other cop on the beat. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. 54. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? 55. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. Dishes. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. The world needs more police officers like you. George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. But sometimes you're looking for the perfect idea for someone really special, and you need something creative and unique. 25. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. Women go right on cooking.". It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. 49. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. Because it was mugged. Funny police retirement quotes sayings. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. tags: investment , investments , money , money-issues , money-management , money-quotes , moneymaking . Best wishes! Upon retirement, you will take the long walk . Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." individuals can use on their own behalf to help think through their future plans, but should not be Capitalize on what comes. "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job" - Ella Harris. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. You might catch something contagious. Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Something pretty thats just the surface. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Get Started the People of the City of New York. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. These words may help. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. I thought retiring was when you are tired and go to bed." Whos there? It ain't going to happen.". Funny cop retirement quotes. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. 2. #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Retiring State Trooper Thats becuase it was a shooting star. They say, Speed Limit 65.'. Congratulations. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. It was mugged. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 62. 14 reasons why retirement jobs are the best! Leave the Relaxing to Her! Live well and prosper. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . 7. 5. A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. Soni "It is better to live rich than to die rich." - Samuel Johnson Leonard Cohen, I need to retire from retirement. 4. ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. William A. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Dick Van Dyke, "Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day." A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. A trisara-cop. Thank You for the 28 years you gave 21. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Money is only a tool. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . Happy retirement wishes! He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. Know what you own, and know why you own it. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". 42. It's all lazy days from now on! West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. 7. You will always have a home here. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! 61. Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. Here are some humorous options. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. Prepare for the worst. You're a free person! "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. NewRetirement strives to keep its information and tools accurate and up I call it bliss." "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". 3. ~ Ernie Harwell. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. R.C. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Also, congratulations, Boss! A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. 34. Facts about financial success later in life! How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Pinterest. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, Not even a rumor. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. retirement 627 GIFs. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. What is five times five?" "Wednesday," replies Jenkin man. hypotheticals based on information you provide. Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. Open up! Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. May you enjoy your retirement! By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. only and are not investment advice. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? Everywhere I touch it hurts.". The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. Vince Lombardi, Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. Hello to a new adventure. Off the clock - for good! May we live up to your example. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. You've obviously missed it. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. When Cops Retire. I can't take it any more! Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. J. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Unknown A retired husband is often a wife's full time job. The police had to comb the area. Wishing you all the best in your new retired life. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! 56. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. 6. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez For retirement planning, you should consider other "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. A Life Long Friendship. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living.