Just dont confuse it with being bipolar. Youre not simply a drama queen. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 3. Its a total jerk move, and while it can be infuriating (because of the condescending attitude behind it), it also reveals the poverty of wit on the side of the person using it. I wanted you to know its not my birthday yet, my birthday is [ ]. Listen to your doubts. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Two American citizens leave the Irish pub sober. When was the last time you caught yourself using words that hurt someone else? Hey, you have something on your chin. (When a telemarketer asks if you want to hear about a product) Absolutely, but first, let me tell you about the meaning of life. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. I'm as useful as a white crayon on black paper. Weve compiled a list of 31 offensive or controversial words or expressions that are best avoided even if youre only kidding.. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? If you feel manic or you feel depressed on a particular day, its okay to acknowledge that. I suggest you do a little soul searching. "A toxic relationship is a dynamic between two or . I only thought you talk behind my back! Youre entitled to your incorrect opinion. I never even listen when you tell me them. Im not insulting you, Im describing you. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. Never play golf with a doctor who wears green socks. Dont worry about me. Your responses are so fast I cant keep up. People tell me to take a joke, but the only joke I see if you, omg it is your long lost brother: spongebob I"ll drown you so you can have a better life with him jerk. I need your name, birthday, address, and social security number to send you your prize. It will make you appear strong. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Your skin is glowing, but I think its from the radiation emanating from your toxic ass personality. But midget is inaccurate, insulting, and never okay. I want to meet your family. I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! This insult accuses someone of being the son of far more than one puta ( "prostitute", also "bitch"): "Son of a thousand whores" is a perfectly ordinary phrase hurl at someone who has annoyed you. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one. Your breath is the reason for climate change. You should try it sometime. Happy birthday to my best friend! Two strands of DNA are walking down the street. Advertisement. What would I do without you and our deep conversations? For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. Enough to break the ice. And according to every test the doctor runs, theres nothing clinically wrong.. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once. I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me. Whichwaydid you come in? Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. Most Funny Random Things To Say My teeth itch. No, no. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them. Most doctors are too busy addressing emergencies to devote much attention to non-emergency mystery illnesses. If you suddenly die, Id immediately travel around the world to search for the seven dragon balls. Whats the best holiday present? They say our brains don't stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. I think theyre onto something. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. It got a little chillier in here once I realized you were a cold-hearted bitch. My friend thinks hes smart. "I hate that about you." 24. How awful. I must have been imagining things. Using emojis like , or to make sure your friends know that youre messing around. That is where most accidents happen. Youve probably seen someone stop another persons talking by putting a hand up to their face, as if to say, Talk to the hand. Its a rude and dismissive way of saying, I dont care about what youre saying.. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. . Send Hahahaha and when they respond what, text back Oh I was laughing because I thought your thumbs fell off and you couldnt text anyone back. You look so good. Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. Light travels faster than sound. If whats fun for you isnt fun for the other person (and vice-versa), its okay to be honest about this and either separate or do things separately. I understand everything you said. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Forget about the pastyou cant change it. You might just find one. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. Common sense is like deodorantthe people who need it most never seem to use it. Yeah? You dont understand when you arent wanted. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. After all, I am always kind to animals. It could remind them of that pain and possibly lead them back to the same torturing thought-emotion loop. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Synonyms for Toxic. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. 2 Reply BIGGERBOI69 4 yr. ago The words mentally retarded were once commonly used to refer to people with a below-average IQ, either because of a congenital condition like Down Syndrome or because of a brain injury. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. One says to the other: Do these genes make me look fat?. Because youve got my interest. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. Related: 12 Of The Worst Negative Personality Traits That Are Truly Nasty. Do you often run out of things to say or feel awkward and self-conscious in social situations? Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. The Definitive Guide to Facial Expressions, Funny Things to Say on a Valentine's Card, Funny Things to Say When Someone Doesn't Text Back, Random Things to Say and Weird Things to Say, Key Takeaways: Make People Laugh by Saying Funny Things. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. Dismissing someone elses idea or thoughts with these words is hurtful and offensive. If youre waiting for me to start care, I hope you brought something for eating, because its gonna be a long time. If you want to write something more unique before Happy Valentines Day, here are some cheesy lines. You must have been born on a highway. Youre not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality. Most people know how that feels. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Queer Movie Night | March 6, 13, 20, 27 2023. "You're boring." 27. Thank you for calling! People are like refrigerators: its whats inside that matters. And rather than suggest ways to have fun together, you decide to make sure they know how bored you are and how its their fault. 100 Funny Things To Say 1. 12. Check your lipstick before you come for me. Naomi Smalls, If you want anything said, ask a man. Im sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm crazy. However, toxic gamers will insult their opponents or teammates during, or after, they've had a poor game. words. Avoid jokes about sensitive or taboo topics and dont take it personally if someone doesnt think youre funny. You're calling me gay? In your case, theyre nothing. But its not a favor to remind someone of how they continue to disappoint your expectations of them, however reasonable you think those are. "I feel so fat right now." As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. Let Me Buy You a Nice Cup of Get Over It.". Boring texts are the bane of everyones existence. I love what youve done with your hair. Arabic has some of the most colorful and seemingly untraceable ways to insult someone or something. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? You can also use them with success anywhere else. A bit because of you, but mainly because of me. It looks like she went into Claires Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, Ill take it! It just smells much better than you. You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. I'm going to get my toe nail pierced this weekend. If youre going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard. I actually liked that one though. 3. Some are genuinely fascinating, while some are too funny (not to mention totally relatable) that we needed to share them with you. Lasts longer in bed, too. Are all your friends this stupid as well? Noah wrote Allie 365 letters, so I think you can text me back. You owe it an apology. I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. Your parents, for one. Butts are nice. I know players in this game can be really toxic at times but that was definitely . Maybe we take some pleasure in finding a particularly apt insult for someone who has wronged us. Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. 3. Has anyone ever tried to smack some sense into you? LETS BURY IT! Just text someone a random word and see what happens. The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. You see that door? Lists. Not when you are around, but once you leave. Then vote for it at the page end. Many people have been using ChatGPT and Bing chat to write long articles, poems, and even essays. Hijo de las Mil Putas. You just won $1 million. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. And I really hope you stay there. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. Your hairline look's like the KFC manager, The reason your mom cry's when cutting onion's because you turned out to be a big FAILURE. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Roses are red; violets are blue. Its no less insulting or mean-spirited than if you were to use a slur to directly attack someone who identifies as homosexual. You should really come with a warning label. I was trying to look like you today. Being a little corny never hurt anybody. The tenth is just humming. It releases oxytocin, which can trigger all sorts of bonding responses in the human body. I have seen people like you. It'll give you a chance to see if they can take it as well as they can dish it out. Im just smarter than you. Im super excited for the new year. Decidedly more personal than You know what I hate? this immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Your absence would affect me greatly. Ive always thought air was free. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. I thought you only spoke trash. It implies that you see that person as nothing more than an object blocking the path to your goal which you see as more valuable than that person. borrded the titanic she sunk it, Donald Trump is smarter than you he has a IQ of 2 You have a IQ of -200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and so on. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. My hair hurts. There is just no satisfaction in telling someone how terrible they are, when they agree and then proceed to beat you anyway. In the land of the witless, you would be king. There may . Aww, its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Introverted does not mean antisocial. They both run at the first sign of emotion. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. I found a spot for you. I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm. Hi there, Im under 18 and my mom said not to talk to strangers. Cherry Blossoms In . #6: "Sorry You Feel that Way. . My heart was beating fast when I saw you walk in. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. I am returning your nose. Designating someone as an obstacle or a hindrance to your getting something you want is dehumanizing and offensive. You can probably think of a list of hurtful words and phrases that have become the go-to expressions of people youve met. Totally get it. Make your friends bust out laughing with one of these clever things to write on a card: Valentines is the perfect opportunity to express your love to your significant other or write a funny card to your fellow singles. I grew up. If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ. Its a real, diagnosable mental health disorder, and those who live with it arent just bipolar on certain days. Id like to help you out. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. What did the ocean say to the other ocean? It reminded me to take out the trash. But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together. The Arabic language can be extremely colorful and lively, which has led to some beautiful poetry, novels, and storytelling.But with the growth of elegant literature comes the rise of a much-loved and hilarious area of swear words and phrases. your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. The truth will set you free. If you want to be funnier in social situations, try these jokester-approved tips: When youre feeling a little doubtful about your sense of humor, remember that you can learn to be funny just like any other people skill. Friends buy you lunch. Your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont they? Dismissing someone or something as gay is an insult to anyone with a homosexual orientation, because youre essentially using the word gay to mean bad or to refer to something you dont like. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. Allow me to assist you in never walking again. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Your secrets are always safe with me. Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. Dont try to think too hard. Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you. Im lonely, not desperate. Im not a nerd. "We're you born in a highway? Live it up today, Lady! Take your parents, for instance. Sometimes I just wish aliens would abduct me and crown me their leader. 1. The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. This is [location] morgue, you kill em we chill em. I tried to be normal once worst two minutes of my entire life. How much does a polar bear weigh? I still have mine. Allow me to be the first one. Not everyone is a natural-born comedian, but that doesnt mean you cant add a splash of humor and fun to your conversations. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past. If you like the, A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. The reason why this phrase deserves to die is its implied message that women are weaker than men. These insults are going to convince others to stop treating you so poorly: These are the best insults to use on anyone who gets on your nerves: Use these quotes to put your enemies in their place: January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. Laughter is known as the best medicine for a reason. I want you on the other side of it. Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? you're IQ is the reason humans arnt on mars yet. Continue reading and youre gonna find it. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. It reminded me to take out the trash. Get a good chuckle out of random telemarketing calls by surprising them with one of these ridiculous responses. Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. Here are the 80+ best insults to destroy your enemies, or more importantly, your best friends. This TikToker is a genius for engagement! Youre the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. Queer Movie Night is part of the Kansas City Center for Inclusion (KCCI). I didnt change. You already know words can hurt, even when someone is just teasing or when the alcohol is wreaking havoc on peoples filters. Its likely that theres something going on with that person that hasnt yet been addressed. Just beware of accidental miscommunications. I want a typhoon. There is no comeback you can give a toxic person that will shut them up or shame them into apologizing or make them look worse to your teammates than they already do. My apologies, how silly of me. what happened to you it looks like corona just hit un ur area. "No one has ever said 'no' to . Youre one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without the Facebook reminder. Where can you buy chicken broth in bulk? Im so glad we have brown cows, otherwise, there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. Your brain is working overtime today. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. I am not ignoring you. Location: 16905 Jowler Creek Road, 64079. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. My therapy bills would be outrageous. My name is ____, but you can call me any time. Im on a seafood diet. You better pay it extra. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. If you were a vegetable, youd be a cutecumber. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. If you cant laugh at yourself, I can help you out. People like you are the reason God doesnt talk to us anymore. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Are you normally this obnoxious, or is there some class you took? No wonder your mom has such a big mouth, you have one the size of a whole house. (Theyll probably respond No, we dont do that) Oh, so you dont want random people calling you all day? If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. Here, take these $1,000,000 bucks! 30 Funny YouTube Videos to Watch During Your Lunch Break, Funny Responses to "How Are You?" If laughter was the best medicine your face would cure the world, my phone battery lasts longer than ur relationships, If I wanted to commit suicide, I would just jump from your ego to your IQ. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. You my friend, are a white crayon on white paper. This word has a poisonous history, and it has nothing to do with humor or friendship. Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. I'm busy; you're ugly. When someone dismisses another human being as useless, the intention is to make them feel worthless as if their death would do the world a bigger favor than their continued existence. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. 16. Dont delay. "I'm gracing you with my presence.". No, no. Everyone brings happiness to a room. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place. You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" 21. A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! "Grow a pair." 23. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Try these funny comments with your friends. There are so, so many comments from young women who have been hurt and who have found a way to hurt back. I only yawn when Im super intrigued. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. Dont be ashamed of who you are. If you ever cross my mind, Ill make sure its a busy intersection. "I'm disappointed in you." 25. Ive been called worse things by better men. Friends buy you lunch. Symptoms may include fever, rash, skin peeling, and low blood pressure. Humor is a key likability cue that helps people feel more relaxed around you. You can like for things to be perfectly in order and not be OCD. i have 5 fingers, each one resembles a person. 4. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Tags. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. Or were you just saying something you thought was funny? I know you got my last text because Cops doesnt start till 4. Here are some hilarious one-liners and funny quotes to toss into your conversations. The day a man makes me happier than chips and queso with a frozen margarita and my best friend is the day Ill get married. If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Usually a bad example, though. Go back to Party City, where you belong! Phi Phi OHara. We headed over to Twitter to find the "toxic traits" people have aired out on their accounts. ), 10 Interesting Conversation Starters and Deep Questions to Ask While at Home, 7 Ways Body Language Will Give You Away - Ear Body Language, 14 Ways To Spark A Conversation With People You Dont Like, 57 Killer Conversation Starters So You Can Start A Conversation With Anyone, Anytime. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. 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Another year older, but are you getting any wiser? Our Conversation Mastery Course teaches you the secrets of master conversationalists and gives you the skills you need to have confident, engaging, and captivating conversations with anyone, anywhere. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. Real friends pick us up when were down. Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. Maybe youll find your brain back there. [wait for her to answer did what hurt?] When you fell from heaven. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. If you stuffed your head with cotton, you would be smarter because right now, your brain is full of dead flies - oh, wait, you don't have one! You can speak english?!? Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? You are so full of crap, the toilets jealous. Jinkx Monsoon. Please, dont stop, keep talking. Why not take today off? Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. do me a favor and give the clown in the mirror a highfive, Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand, When people make fun of adopted children: "Honey at least I was wanted. Your friends would be amused.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_4',197,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); If you like these savage roasts, youll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. Why arent shorts half the price of pants? And while men generally build bulky muscle more readily than women, the testosterone responsible for that doesnt make them stronger where it really counts. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. I don't know what I'd do without you, but starting tomorrow I'm going to give it a try. 2. What do you say to single people on Valentines Day? One of the most toxic phrases you will hear from your partner, especially when your emotions are high, is the advice to let it go. I wanted to live life without many regrets. Just for innocent fun, user @emmaj_mason prompted others to share the most toxic things women can say to men, and wow, did they deliver. Some of the people who use these expressions seem to think theyre doing others a favor by letting them know how theyre falling short. And maybe youve felt called out, shamed, or devalued by someone elses thoughtless remarks. I would say my heart, but its just not as big. CRY YOURSELF A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET OVER IT!!! If I could rearrange the alphabet Id put U and I together. 29 What I like best about our relationship is that it doesn't exist anymore. They made an ass out of themselves. Im not always hungry; sometimes Im sleepy, too. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Dont pretend your feeling of fullness after that chimichanga gives you the right to call yourself fat as an expression of solidarity, either. Continue the joke, please. Hey, I found your nose, its in my business again! Its similar to Grow a spine but more insulting particularly to men. Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. And thats the best compliment I can give. Group assignments make me understand why Batman works alone. It reminded me to take out the trash. Toxic shock syndrome: Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a condition caused by bacterial toxins. Write a pop song about my love for Marmite. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Parts of speech. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. Yeah, that is now. But then you wonder what you might be saying without intending to harm anyone that others find offensive or controversial. 1. For example, you come home one day all fired up because someone at work infuriated you. Experts reveal 19 things toxic moms love to say. It suggests that only a woman who is being adversely affected by her female hormones during a particularly hormonal time of the month would dare be otherwise than docile and agreeable. Youre cute. I dont have any trash to take out today, but I volunteer you as tribute. Bad idea in your case. MENU. For your B-day, I wanted to give you something that was funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life. Youve got something on your face. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. I love that our easygoing friendship fits perfectly with my laziness. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. 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