how to ask someone if you offended them

Leave them alone. Body language expert Suzanne Masefield gives her top tips. You might say, I didnt mean to offend you. Guides and advice for recent college grads, young professionals, home buyers, entrepreneurs, and grown ups of all ages. If youre afraid of escalating the situation, dont worry. . Try to keep your tone calm and even when you ask thisif you come across like you're judging or mocking the person for their feelings, it will just make things worse. Stay up-to-date with current issues, Christian teachings, entertainment news, videos & more. Or make a deal with yourself to understand that it will never be okay but you don't have to hate yourself for it forever. This article originally appeared on Curt Landry Ministries. So if you've threatened the positive self-image they've strived over the years to secure (probably like yourself? Others may find it less offensive if the person simply says hello and asks how they are doing before asking for their name. Toxic Fights. Things that were not supposed to happen, but did, or things that were supposed to happen that didn't, which ended up turning out for the better? Just take a moment to think about whats going on for them. Youre no different. Chances are pretty good that if you inadvertently offended someone, their negative reaction was a result of the perception of disrespect. ", "The detailed title fit the scenario I'm having perfectly.". It can be very easy to offend someone and if you don't have the right people skills in order to do proper conflict resolution, then you aren't going to get anywhere. God made you to End-times expert Michael Snyder says it's like "watching a really bad Hollywood disaster movie slowly play out." For example, you could say to a service provider, Id like to continue hiring you, but I feel really uncomfortable when I hear that kind of language. Or to a relative, such as your child, you could say, I don't feel comfortable being around others when you speak that way., In a work environment, you can say, If I hear that word again, Im going to have to speak to our supervisor., In a family context, you can say, I think I will have to go home if you continue speaking like that.. "Why It's So Easy to Offend Others and Get Offended Yourself", "How Quick Are You to Take Offense? .Anonymous said:Bts reaction please when you're. No spam, but we will tell you about upcoming workshops. Standing up for ourselves and ourrights will never bring true peace. Please forgive me.But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable,gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partialityand without hypocrisy. They do not smile nor greet back. That made me feel sad and this helped to feel happy again. Never apologize for your feelings. Can you repeat that?. The truth is, if someone is offended, it doesn't really matter if you didnt intend the offense. 2021 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. Finally, regardless of whether they're emotionally prepared to accept your apology, be careful not in any way to criticize them for their disturbed reaction. Use I statements. If the person was offended by something you consider an important value, apologizing may not be appropriatesometimes you do have to stand your ground. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. We willonly make it difficult for the one who is hurt. You can almost pretend that you simply didnt understand what they said. Apologizing is not weakness. They might be holding in some things that you aren't expecting, so just sit back and let them speak their mind. For if they can tell you about what they experienced earlier (whether recently or a long time ago) that made your behavior sting so much, you can ensure that you never cause them to feel this way again. His body was laid to rest five years ago today and a heartwarming video of prisoners carefully building his casket shows he left this world in a Are you a Christian woman struggling with self esteem and lacking confidence? Its time to get real. 21/02/2022 : . The person may not mean to offend you, but that doesnt mean you shouldnt address the issue. If you're not super-close, you might wait as long as a couple of weeks. Listen to what the other person has to say After you apologize, take a pause and listen to what they have to say. You can say, You said something earlier that I admit I found offensive. It aint easy being human. The silence will likely let them know that theyve said something rude. What are they feeling and needing? It's okay to let go of relationships that aren't really working anymore, and open yourself up to new opportunities for connection. 1. Having encapsulated the key "don'ts" in this matter, here are some fundamental "dos": Since when another person is disgruntled with you, you're likely to feel rather upset yourself, lower your shoulders, slow down your breathing, and do anything else that will help you think more clearly about what in the moment is necessary for the relationship assuming you value it and wouldn't consciously undermine it. Feeling Understood Even More Important Than Feeling Loved? Examples include asking the "potentially offended" directly if they are upset or if they truly forgive the reassurance-seeker. You can express feelings without expressing judgement. And I'll start this piece by suggesting what we should be wary of doing after we've inadvertently antagonized someone. WAUSAU, Wis. (WSAW) - The Marathon County Sheriff's Office is asking the public to contact them if they've had an odd encounter with a stranger going door to door. When you are able to physically control your body then you're also able to make for the best reaction.. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. "There's nothing quite like waking up to discover that your church is being featured on an episode of 'Dateline,'" Pastor Cal Jernigan wrote in a letter to Central Christian Church, the congregation he leads in Phoenix, Arizona. The more we learn about each other, the better we are at not only correcting what went wrong but at upgrading the relationship. Is that right?". Can I tell you where it comes from?, If you dont think they were trying to offend you, say so. You can let them know how you felt and that you want to talk about it, with something like: "You said something the other day that I'd like to talk to you about. After you apologize, take a pause and listen to what they have to say. Why and How to Move in the Opposite Spirit, Unholy Alliances Form to Make Bible Prophecy a Coming Reality, The Chosen: Jesus Rejected Delivers Powerful Message, Former Satanist John Ramirez: Defeating Sickness with Spiritual Warfare Prayers, Barry Meguiars Urgent Message to American Pastors. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. It really depends on the situation, how close you are, and what happened that made the person upset. PostedOctober 19, 2021 This creates an environment of mutual respect and understanding despite what might have transpired between you. Expert Interview. Don't just sit around feeling anxious, thoughinstead, reach out to get some insight into how they're feeling. Without fail you get slapped with "you're too young to know you don't want them" "some day you'll change your mind." "You'll regret not having them" "why wouldn't you want a child to succeed you?" They just can't mind their business. It's not about bubble-wrapping and rounding the corners on your message so much that you're left with the . I sure do, If my girl and I have been busy all week, and been somewhat disconnected, I tell her. If someone tells an offensive joke, refusing to laugh or smile shows that you dont approve of their humor. Was it something I said? For a truly caring desire to protect them could nonetheless have led them to feel patronized, manipulated, or controlled. And that would be especially likely if in growing up they were routinely and harshly judged by their parents, leaving them with serious doubts as to whether they were or could begood enough. Maybe they have deep doubts that theyre good enough.. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. , lets take a look at what we can do when we offend someone. With practice, yes. His posts have received over 50 million views. If they say something negative, don't spend time being angry about it. Ignore their negative reaction to you. Odds are, the person will respect you more if you're able to voice your boundaries as well as listen to their own. In these moments, intentionally or not, we might have offended someone. When used authentically, it is a powerful tool to remain in dialogue, so you can get both your needs and the other persons needs met. If that person used to be warm to you whenever you met, there could be a reason why they have changed. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. If the offense that you did to them was very inexcusable or it will take them time to forgive you, give them the space that is necessary to voice their boundaries. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. We've got your back. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. It is time to be open and inquisitive. This was at the beginning of covid, the item didn't break, it touched the floor, which meant germs, which apparently meant violence. If you respond by guilting them, or by saying that they had no right to feel the way they did then you most definitely are part of the problem here. Method 1 Asking Questions Download Article 1 Ask the person to repeat themselves. Being understood is a powerful human need. To learn how to have an upfront conversation with an offensive person, read on. Defensively protest that you meant them no harm. But anger is a secondary emotion. Tell the person how their words may you feelthey might not realize that their comments came across as negative. By this I mean don't make a situation about you when it offended someone else. Im sure you didnt intend that, but Id like to talk about it.. Conflict resolution is a normal part of everyday life and most people might not realize how often we need to have difficult conversations. Consider whether the person has any motivation to change their behavior. It can be difficult to realize you made a mistake let alone admit to it. Pause for a moment and ask the person to repeat what they said. Often, were offended when someone says something rude or insensitive. Rarely, if ever, will it provide the comfort and reassurance the other person needs. 44 min. Your submission has been received! Body, including the message's purpose. Tomorrow, well flip the script, and discuss what to say when youre the one whos offended. What begins as an offensive remark can sometimes lead to physical violence or threats. And similarly, if you feel that you take offence too . We are to maintain anattitude of pursuing peace through humility at the expense of our pride. Having good manners is a key part of having great executive presence. Only people who have zero social acuity think you either have to be 100% honest or lie in a conversation. Be prepared for this. Jernigan's church has been under the Loren Cunningham, who founded the Youth With a Mission Ministry more than 62 years ago, has been stricken with Stage 4 lung cancer. This shows us how to approach a person we have offended. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Are you up for that?, Let them know that you are assuming the best about them. You might tell them, for example: "Your thoughts and feelings really matter to me, and I'm so sorry that what I said suggested I didn't have much regard for you, 'cause I absolutely do.". Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. By taking on the situation with accountability and by being honest with yourself and with the other person about your mistake, not only will you make the situation go as smoothly as possible, but they will respect you for that. How Normal Is Fighting in a Relationship? Clinical Psychologist. We all have our psychological defenses, our self-protection mechanisms. However, they may be so stuck in their ways that having a conversation isnt going to yield your desired result. Managing Conflict and Difficult Interactions, How to Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You, https://www.thehopeline.com/when-your-best-friend-is-mad-at-you/, https://www.gq.com/story/are-you-mad-at-me-now-i-am, https://www.vogue.com/article/is-everyone-mad-at-me, https://hbr.org/2014/06/choose-the-right-words-in-an-argument, https://au.reachout.com/articles/when-someone-is-always-angry, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-we-work/201304/what-do-when-you-ve-made-someone-angry, https://www.health.com/condition/anxiety/misinterpreting-friendships-anxiety, preguntarle a alguien si est molesto contigo, Bertanya Apakah Seseorang Marah pada Anda, Peguntar para uma Pessoa Se Ela Est Chateada com Voc, demander une personne si elle est en colre contre moi, Hi ai rng c phi h ang gin hoc bc mnh vi bn khng, You could also say something like, "Hey I haven't heard from you in a while. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. It is the only way to see true reconciliation. Other times they are accurate in their assessment of me. Dont forget, their reaction was legitimate, for them. 19 July 2021. Catch the spirit of the revival. One Pastors Alleged Abuse and Cover-up Across Multiple Megachurches, YWAM Founder Loren Cunningham Stricken With Stage 4 Cancer. He told the website Florida Politics, which first reported on the bill: "Paid bloggers are lobbyists who write instead of talk . (And note that it could have been not something you said but some action you took or didn't take.). The offendee may have viewed your "helpful" suggestions as critical of how they were approaching some task, project, or relationship. This means saying, I felt angry when you used that word to describe our coworker instead of, It was wrong of you to use that word to describe our coworker. Another example is saying, I felt embarrassed when you told that joke instead of, That joke wasnt funny.. Here are some things you may be tempted to do upon learning that you've offended another, but that you need to be diligent not to do: Do not tell them they shouldn't have felt offended. We've got some exclusive guides + giveaways in the works. Acknowledge that you were wrong Discuss what is allowed and not allowed in your relationship Express your regret and remorse Learn from your mistakes and find new ways of dealing with difficult situations Open up a line of communication with the other person A sincere apology can also bring relief, particularly if you have guilt over your actions. He holds doctorates in English and Psychology. Be sure you are not going to the offender in anger or with an attitude of setting them straight. Hopefully, you can have a conversation with the people you had a disagreement with, and eventually, move on.. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding. If so, this prophetic word for March is for you. When you offend someone and take the time to look at your own reaction to what transpired, you may be surprised to realize that you yourself feel upset. Oh it is. James 3:17, emphasis added. In a business environment, always discuss things with the "offender" before going to the higher-ups. Jesus said that if "your brother or sister has something against you First go and be reconciled to them" (Matthew 5:23-24). animated text background. I'm going to assume you didn't mean to hurt me and would like to talk about it.". Maybe it was something you said, or did, or didn't say, or didn't do. Keep in mind that in a disagreement, it's more important how something came across, rather than the intention that was behind it. ", If the person's mood seems to shift suddenly during a conversation, try asking something like, "Did I say something to offend you?". You hit a nerve. Is it possible in the moment to suspend your own righteousness, your own contrary perspective that they shouldnt be so sensitive? If Maria is extra sensitive to jokes about blondes its not that hard to skip those jokes around Maria. Lena Dicken, Psy.D. There would have been signs in their facial expressions and body language that we picked up - but they were so fleeting we brushed it off as our own paranoia. 1 - Understand That You Don't Know Their Mindset Consider the things people don't know about you and remember they might not know your triggers. But they aren't your customer, either. The latest breaking Christian news you need to know about as soon as it happens. Brodeur did not respond to a request for comment late Thursday. It's time to get real. Oops! If I dont agree, I let them knowI respect what they have said and will search my attitude and intentions. It's what you do with those moments that can and will shape the rest of your Beloved, have you been waiting a long timebut you have almost given up hope for blessings? Maybe they construed your advice as a personal attack because thats how their parents spoke to them as a child. Remember that youre not telling them what they need to do; youre telling them what your needs are in order for the conversation to continue. Keep in mind that the way you express yourself will either escalate the conflict and ill will now present between you or, ideally, alleviate it. Instead I have learned to listen and keep my mouth shut untilthey have said what they need to say. We will only. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Source: Liza Summer, photographer/Pexels free photo. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Romans 14:19 This shows us how to approach a person we have offended. Some people don't physically show their emotions but more so things come out in their voice and manner of speech. This way,you won't project any of your insecurities or strong opinions onto the other person. Is everything okay? And various mental health professionals have emphasized how crucial a person's pride, dignity, and self-respect are to them. It is God who has the authority to judge and He is righteous in His judgment. What Should You Do After Your Girlfriend Lies to You? Watch here to find out more. Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon. ), it's critical that in walking back what you said to them you say something gracious that neutralizes that perceived threat. Something went wrong while submitting the form. A lot of the time people might say they're going to do things because it's what people want to hear rather than actually having their actions reflect those things. | ", {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/ee\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Are-Upset-with-You-Step-4.jpg\/v4-460px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Are-Upset-with-You-Step-4.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/ee\/Ask-Someone-if-They-Are-Upset-with-You-Step-4.jpg\/aid12488977-v4-728px-Ask-Someone-if-They-Are-Upset-with-You-Step-4.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Who are the new brides and grooms on Married At First Sight Australia? Nor is it helpful. Perhaps you and your friend have not spoken in a few days or even weeks. It doesn't really matter that your behavior lacked malignant intent or that you couldn't possibly have realized they would react as they did. A person submitted to godlywisdom is not afraid to yield or defer to the other persons viewpointas long as it does not violate truth. This article was co-authored by Sheila A. Anderson. You must actively refrain from giving the response they want. You can say, Im sorry, but I cant continue this conversation if youre going to use that language or I need you to use a different tone so that I can hear what youre saying without taking offense.. Salutation. You can start by saying, Im sure you meant no harm, but or I know you always try to be sensitive to others feelings, so I wanted to let you know. Despite the blatantly demonic performance at the Grammys and pagan statues enshrined in New York City, there is an awakening taking place in the hearts of everyday Americans. OMG I have been asked that too by someone who was italian (really strong accent) I think because I could not understand their thick accent so they thought I didn't know english. It can be tricky to politely let someone know they offended you, but once you get it off your chest youll feel better. It is time to be open and inquisitive. Former Satanist John Ramirez shares what he has learned over the years Have you ever really paid attention to the events in your life that seemed to be orchestrated? 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, An Addiction Myth That Needs to Be Revisited, 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being, Never add insult to psychic injury by telling the person you offended: "That really shouldn't have bothered you; you're way too sensitive.". But I guess not. This will let them know that their statement was not in fact acceptable. Ultimately, the ethical issues of journalism are best handled case by case, using what Jensen describes as those " 'you know it when you see it' judgment calls." That's no doubt true. People always try to tell some indirect stories and it ends up vindicating the other person. If this happens, thats okay. Prophetic messages from respected leaders & news of how God is moving throughout the world. This doesn't mean you're a bad person. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? Step 3: Scroll the screen and move to the About section of your Profile page. Many Magazine SubscriptionPodcastsArticles From Current IssueCharisma NewsCharisma HouseCharisma App, Contact UsAdvertise With UsWriters GuidelinesCareersMeet the Editors, Charisma MediaCharisma MagazinePrivacy PolicyStatement of FaithTerms of ServiceReprint Permisson. Be sure to document everything, from the offensive remark to any conversations about it. It can be stressful to have these difficult conversations, but confrontation is an everyday aspect of life as an adult. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/e\/e8\/Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/e\/e8\/Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg\/aid219277-v4-728px-Decrease-Your-Chances-of-Being-Abused-in-an-Intimate-Relationship-Step-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"

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